So your first marriage did not work out. But
now you’ve found another special someone. Maybe you have kids from your
previous marriage. Maybe your new partner does. Maybe you are dreaming about
the bucolic life you will all live together once your families are joined
through marriage – happily, peacefully, without conflict.
Time to snap out of it. Even if everyone gets
along fabulously and your child-rearing philosophies are similar, it might not
be so rosy. For one thing, divorce rates are higher in remarriages, reports US
site SmartStepFamilies.com. Financially, blended or stepfamily dynamics are
tricky: his money, her money, ex-spouses, past financial obligations and future
ones, to o. All in all, combining families takes a little more financial – and
life – planning.
Of course, you won’t be alone on this road.
About four out of 10 US marriages include at least one step-relative, according
to a Pew Research Center survey. In the UK, 10% of all families are
stepfamilies, according to UK charity One Plus One. In Japan, one out of four
marriages is a remarriage for one or both spouses. That figure rises to one out
of three marriages in New Zealand, according to The International Handbook of
Stepfamilies.
What it will take: Honesty. Before you
become a stepfamily, sit down with your partner and
discuss everything — the good, the bad, and the financial.
I can't speak about the perspective of a
stepfamily because in my particular case my parents are together for 19 years,
but I think that discussing different viewpoints, benefits to the couple. To
take part in quotidian conversations is positive, always dialoguing ang keeping
the respect. I supose that living together is not easy (problems in the work
(if you have), children's education (if you have), tiredness...) but I think
that is important to be patient and comprehensive. Some days are bad for one and
some for the other one.
To initiate a new relationship perhaps is not
difficult but to keep it with the ties of the past is different (how the
article shows). Each member will have more affinity or love to its own children
although one make an effort in order not to do differences. So how it says the
article "sit down with your partner and discuss everything."
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